thru my eyes..

.time don't fly when you want them to.

people always complain about how time flies. but do you realise that it passes really slowly when you're trying to get away from a very boring situation.

.benign.

the art of living does not consist in preserving and clinging to a particular mode of happiness, but in allowing happiness to change its form without being disappointed by the change; happiness, like a child, must be allowed to grow up..

.bitter as bolted lettuce.

have you ever felt so sad in your life.. and you wanted to cry.. but you know for a fact that its not suppose to really matter.. has anyone ever unintentionally hurt you but didnt really mean to..? what did you do then..? did youu lash out on them until it hurt them back.. or did you just smile and said it was ok? did you cry your heart out.. or did you just laughed out loud..?

have you ever hurt anyone in your life..? have you ever messed things up..? have you ever regretted doing the things you did? if you have.. why did you? and what did you do? did you patch things up? did you feel bad about it..? did you even care..?

sometimes i find so much faults in others, that i rarely take a step to the side and mirror myself.. how did i contribute to everything that happened in my life.. was it up to me..? its true perhaps, that i am responsible.. for every single event happening in my life.. every one is perhaps?

how can i blame.. though i must have sometimes.. but how could i..

what did i do ?

.meet my hubby.

.i just close my eyes.

i like to imagine that i can still dances my life like yesterday.. okay, im probably talking in a language that not many can understand.. but that's just me.

.hear me sing the blues.

my thoughts have been hijacked to orbit the planet of fuzziness these few days. this repetitive questioning and answering around the same orbit could have been the reason why a lot of things are misplaced lately and my head buzzing in a rather annoying deafening decibels.

it’s like having a mosquito high on ketamine lost in my mosquito net. i feel like burning the whole net and let the mosquito feast on me.

self-note: belief in God, have faith..

.sorry.

the word forgiveness seems really big. to forgive and forget, to forget but never forgive, or to forgive but never forget. we must have pondered upon these words at least once in our lives. and to some people, more than once.

people make mistakes, we makes mistakes. sometimes we hurt people, sometimes we get hurt. how often does this process get in the way of us moving forward in our lives..?

unless we've had permanent brain damage, or perhaps a serious case of amnesia, it is usually hard to forget..
but in our most strong yet fragile heart of ours, we can find it in our soul to forgive, the ones who might have hurt us in any way, for it allows the anger to rest in peace so we can move on to a brighter day..

sometimes in our hearts, when we lay ourselves to sleep at night we say to ourselves..

"will he/she/they forgive me for that i have done..?"

but did we ever question this..

"i cannot forgive myself for what i have done" ..?

it is when we have a question like this, that we sometimes lie sleepless at night, or that we try so hard in life, to make things right, we push ourselves to the limit, either blaming ourselves or proving it the world that we are okay yet we are never really okay.

it may not be the easiest thing to do, but i've learned, forgiving in its own, is the most humane thing a soul can do, to one's own self, and to another.

i learn how people sacrifice their lives for the ones they love. i learn how it feels to not have a choice. i see how horrible things are on the other side of the world, where buildings turn to dust and people die on streets. i realize how important it is to forgive. something i learned how to a long time ago, but have forgetten how important it can be.

.a little more action.

i feel so uninspired, but i want to be. i am looking for great inspirations. maybe i need to look deeper within myself.

nobody said it was easy..

.career.

im tired. bone tired. soul tired. tired in that way you're when you think you've reached your destination at last but discover there's yet another hill to climb.